Do you think ‘I wish I could stop worrying what others think of me?’ Of course, you do, that’s why you’re here. I used to be just like you, making up stories about what others were thinking, but not any more. I have a toolbox of strategies at my fingertips to overturn such obstacles. I’ve outlined the problem, the cause and the solution below:
The Worrying Problem:
- Do you spend time worrying about what others think?
- Do you often find yourself second-guessing yourself or others?
- Do you make up other people’s thoughts for them?
All such thoughts and actions send your self-esteem plummeting!
The Worrying Cause:
Sounds funny doesn’t it – but basically when we worry about what other people think – we’ve already pre-judged what they’re thinking, right?
Mary is having a conversation with someone she hasn’t met before and then she notices they seem distracted. Her next thoughts are, “Oh, she finds me boring, she’s not interested in me, I know she can’t wait for an excuse to move away.”
Her conversation buddy (let’s call her Joan) meanwhile is thinking, “OMG, I just remembered I left the oven on, I’d better let her know I just have to make one quick phone call and then I’d
love to continue our conversation, she is so interesting.”
Joan’s boredom is simply a story Mary has made up in her head!
We’ve all been guilty of this at some point in our lives, right? So, how to we silence our inner story-teller and stop worrying what others think? Here’s what you need to do:
- First, you need to observe when you do it, just observe – no self-judging allowed! You can’t change anything if you’re not aware of it.
- Next, after a few days, analyze your own thoughts.
- Is it just in certain situations that you do this?
- How often do you do it?
- Is this something you are committed to change?
- Then, you’re ready to begin interrupting your thought patterns. The next time you notice yourself going down the track of making up someone else’s thoughts or stories for them, adopt a more confident posture and just listen. Then, focus on the positive: ‘It’s so fabulous meeting new people, I can learn so much from them!’ In the example above, Mary could focus on asking Joan ‘Is everything OK? You seem a little distracted, can I help?’
I have a resource which will help you and it’s totally free. It’s one of a series of Courage Cards I developed:
This one is called ‘Just the Facts’. Included. is an introduction video from me, the ‘card’ and an exercise or task for you to complete.
So, what are you waiting for? Jump on over to our website and grab your copy today: